In his lifetime, Tatay never hid his poor and hard beginnings. As a fact, he was poor from cradle to grave but was always proud to narrate of how he struggled through hard times and good times to give us decent lives and left a legacy we can be proud of. In return, we believe that we haven’t failed him in his ideals as we all got educated as he wished, and turned out good children. Being a great father, we his children with our spouses and children together always gave Tatay the credits as the very one person most responsible for our successes in life. We are always proud of his being our father, of his role in our lives and of how he raised us to what we are now. And most, we all have followed in his every footstep always emulating and remembering the good deeds and words he left us.
Tatay was a mild-mannered and a gentleman father. He was very kind as he was compassionate and understanding and always easy to please. That’s because he was nice by not being temperamental. It’s this laudable behavior of his that he never experienced having quarreled with anyone especially with neighbors or with contemporaries, fellow business competitor or just with anybody. One remarkable and most laudable high point in his life was that he never had any brush with the law as he was always a law-abiding guy who had not offended anyone. He was one who always talked with an air of dignity with anyone. And as he used to say, he had countless friends and that he never liked people who are trouble-makers.
Although Tatay’s educational background did not show that he was smart, he showed that he was a fast learner even as he got older. Late in his life, he very often asked me questions about the present world that he did not know much since the time his eyes started to fail him that he cannot read. One query that surprised me most was his question about illegal drugs. He asked this because these are most that he hears every now and then in the news, either on radio or in the papers. He questioned why marijuana, opium and other illegal drugs that are considered as just “plants” are banned from being used or consumed without medical prescriptions. Knowing that such things were not in use or heard during his days, it was very understandable. Explaining in details all what I knew about these things and its evil effects to one’s health and to the society, Tatay confidently nodded that he got the point. He was that fast in learning things new to him.
Since then, he did not ask about them anymore but on other subjects that he knew I can explain well. And most subjects Tatay asked were about current world events and science especially about the US space program and weaponries since he knew that I am up-to-date and well-versed with these subjects. Tatay also asked me about the comparison of the game of chess to that of dama or checkers where he was good at. Knowing well that I am a chess player being the founder of the Isulan Chess Club and leader of chess players in our town, I did not fail in explaining to him the very huge difference of the two board games. But since it was already very late for him to learn chess, he simply couldn’t fathom my ideas, however, he was always satisfied with whatever answers I gave him.
From what Tatay showed us about life, I’ve learned that as he got older, the more that he got proud of his age. This is true with everyone who gets older that every time Tatay was asked about how old he was, he seemed to be proud to tell the truth. Such that if only possible he would even pad a few years to his age so he would look older that he had lived that long, but by being honest he does not. As we knew him well, he was honest as a person that Tatay never tell phony stories or whatever about anything that he did not have first-hand account or of about himself he has not experienced. We believed that whatever stories he told us are true and that if ever he tells one that seemed phony, it’s only to make us laugh.
Like most parents with high expectations of good future for their children as they grow to adulthood, Tatay was perhaps lucky. Four of us in the family were able to get college degrees while our eldest, Toto Efrain took time to join the US Navy for 6 years before returning home. Having passed government examinations, both Inday Celina and Baby Perla went on to practice their professions separately. Inday practiced her being a pharmacist by operating a drug store while Baby turned out the most outstanding of us all as she was the one who gave our beloved parents the highest honor by becoming a lawyer. She graduated from the University of San Agustin in Iloilo City and hurdled the bar examination in 1978 when at the time she was already married. For the remarkable achievements she gave our family and clan, Tatay gifted her with a luxury 4-door sedan car, a Toyota Crown, then the first and only most prestigious car in our town.
Baby worked for many years as a government employee in different position and her last employment was being the provincial secretary of the Sultan Kudarat province. But due to her failing eyes, she decided and prematurely retired in 2009. In her retirement program attended by our whole family, relatives, officemates and friends held at the Sultan Kudarat Capitol in November 2009, I paid her a tribute only a proud brother can give and was titled, “A Friend, Contemporary, Confidant, Sister”. In my tribute, I described and narrated that ours is the greatest “brother-sister” relationship there ever is, and she liked and loved it. But Tatay would have loved it more.
It is not only in our educational attainment that we were able to give back honor to our parents but also when it was time we put ourselves into married lives. Being the father of three girls, Tatay had all the privileges to give them away in grand fashions during their respective weddings. True to our strong Catholic faith, all of us were wed only in the church. The first to be wed was Inday in 1966, then Nene Hadjera in 1968 and Baby in 1976. Against all beliefs and superstitions that being married in the same year with a sibling is not a good omen, Baby and I were married separately in the same month and year in 1976. She was wed on May 8 to Walter F. Cartujano of Roxas City while I, to a high school teacher of the Notre Dame of Isulan, Susan B. Duropan on May 22. So far, not one misfortune ever happened to either of us.
Despite being the eldest, Toto Efrain married last in the family, however, his was unmatched. Toto and his young bride Neneng Melinda Lavalle were married in a very untraditional but grand way as it took placed at the Bishop’s Palace in Koronadal, South Cotabato on the 43rd wedding anniversary of our parents, April 24, 1977. The officiating priest was the good bishop himself, His Eminence Bishop Reginald Arliss. To this day, they are happily married and are blessed with six beautiful children who all have finished their college educations with diplomas and are now professionals.
To be continued…
